Agent Tony's Reports
by MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark
Summary: Here is a complete copy of agent Tony's reports on the humans Alfred F. Jones and Arthur Kirkland as well as those surrounding them such as Matthew Williams. UsUk. Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth. Hilarious interpritations. Matthew Williams is a first class threat. Rating changed for good reason.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Here is a complete copy on agent Tony's reports on the humans Alfred F. Jones and Arthur Kirkland as well as those surrounding them such as Matthew Williams. UsUk.

A/N: This is MagicInTheDark and BunnyOfMint's new collab account~!

DO NOT STEAL THIS IDEA PLEASE!

Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters

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BEHVIOR REPORT 1  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT 284 -Alfred F. Jones (A.K.A. America/The United States of America)

Test subject human. Test subject male. Test subject nineteen (Planet 1285 (Earth) years).

Test subject is stationed in house habitat. Sleeps irregularly, normally from 3 A.M. to 12 P.M. Diet consists of human foods: hamburger, Coke-a-Cola, Slurpee, Starbucks, Krispy Kreme, and Pizza.

Test subject is sexually intimate with test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland). Both test subjects are male; while generally accepted throughout the universe, unusual in human activity. Interestingly enough, one of test subject 284's (Alfred F. Jones') fears are letting his sexual partner in the kitchen. Generally the test subject does cooking rather than let 287 (Arthur Kirkland) do so.

Test subject often plays video games with test subject 281 (Kiku Honda) throughout the night. Test subjects also watch anime/cartoons together. Test subject 281 (Kiku Honda) insists they be called anime. He also brings a video camera wherever he goes and often times films test subjects 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and 287 (Arthur Kirkland) having sex. He then proceeds to sell this on the internet to a species called "Fangirls/Fanboys". This is all without test subject's 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and 287 (Arthur Kirkland) knowledge or consent.

Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) spends much time on the television. Test subject enjoys physical activities and sports. Dislikes his body mass. Unaware that his body mass continues to rise because of muscle development and over-eating.

Brother of test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) is test subject 283 (Matthew Williams). I often times find it hard to see him. He is basically an invisible human being. This is a first class threat. Invisibility powers are rare and precious abilities throughout the known universe. Test subjects look like twins despite the difference in date of birth between them. Test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) often times gets mistaken for test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones). This upsets him greatly. He does not seem to realize the immense power he possesses with his invisibility. Test subject also has ferocious beast nicknamed "Kumajiro". This is a polar bear (mammal native to planet 1285 (Earth)) It has not shown any powers, but I am afraid of its abilities. Test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) is a powerful human being. His weapon of choice is a metal javelin-like object named a "Hockey-Stick". He is quite skilled with it, and plays the sport "Hockey". Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) has ability to see past invisibility powers at times.

Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) has rival test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski). This mainly stems from the War of Cold. Test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski) was the government type of "communist" at the time. Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) was/still is government type "Democratic". Government types are known to fight a lot. This is normal for planet 1285 (Earth). There is much fighting amongst the people and their leaders. Also a lot of fighting about religious matters.

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A/N: Yea so this idea was way too good to pass up.

Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.

We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Trust me we had a lot of fun with this. Therefore there will be many chapters.

MANY CHAPTERS.

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Here is a complete copy on agent Tony's reports on the humans Alfred F. Jones and Arthur Kirkland as well as those surrounding them such as Matthew Williams. UsUk.

A/N: This is MagicInTheDark and BunnyOfMint's new collab account~!

DO NOT STEAL THIS IDEA PLEASE!

Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters

Wow, you can totally tell I copy and paste that crap.

To any of you still reading: Thank you so much. XD Please enjoy this hilarity.

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BEHAVIOR REPORT 2  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT 287 - Arthur Kirkland (A.K.A. England/The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland)

Test subject human. Test subject male. Test subject twenty-three (Planet 1285 (Earth) years).

Test subject is stationed in house habitat. Sleeps every night from 10:00 P.M. to 7:00 A.M. Pattern is only interrupted by sexual partner. Diet consists of human foods: scones, tea, fish and chips, briskets, etc. Test subject is sexually intimate with test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones). During intimacy, for a peculiar reason, test subject is heard to be screaming out partner's name frequently. Reason for this is unknown. Test subjects are extremely sexually active-more so than is recommended for humans.

Test subject is prone to hallucinations and schizophrenia, a human disorder which allows humans to hear voices. Test subject's hallucinations consist of flying bunnies (mammal native to planet 1285 (Earth)), pirates, fairies, unicorns, and so forth. He gets them frequently and insists he does not need medication.

Test subject has inability for food. Cannot cook. Took tests upon test subject during sleeping hours: test subject had no taste buds. Insists, for some odd reason, that his cooking is good. This is false. Took tests on food and determined it is inedible.

Test subject spends much time reading books and caring for plant life.

Test subject's eyebrows appear to be dangerous. He denies this possibility but I still proceed with caution. They are large and beast-looking. They may just hop off his face at a certain point in time and attack the human race. Third class threat. Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) finds them attractive.

Test subject has a chair in the bottom floor of his home habitat. He calls this chair haunted, and chair's code name follows: BUSBY'S CHAIR. Says anyone to sit in this chair will be cursed and die. Performed tests: this is true. All humans will die upon sitting on Busby's Chair, with one acceptation - Test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski).

Test subject has rival 269 (Francis Bonnefoy). Rivals land masses are only separated by body of water "English Channel". These two argue even more than test subjects 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and 287 (Arthur Kirkland). However there is no sex after the arguing. Although test subject 269 (Francis Bonnefoy) will often times try to initiate sex, test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) will immediately turn him down. Recently test subject 269 (Francis Bonnefoy) and test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) have become involved in a sexual relationship. It seems to be going well. He seems to have the ability to block test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) invisibility powers.

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A/N: Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.

We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Tony sends a report back to his home planet. It's an in detail report on Alfred F. Jones (A.K.A. America) and his personal life and Arthur Kirkland (A.K.A. England) along with those surrounding them. UsUk

Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or any of the characters.

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HUMAN RESPONSE REPORT 1  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECTS 284 & 287 - Alfred F. Jones (A.K.A. America/The United States of America) & Arthur Kirkland (A.K.A. England/The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland)

As directed by my officer, I have taken a test upon 284 and 287 to interrupt their sexual patterns and see their reactions. This was simple enough. I rigged the sleeping space, which humans call a bed, to ignite on fire when a certain weight is reached; this way both of them had to be on it. Test subjects had retreated to bed for sexual intercourse, only for 287 to run downstairs and pick up their anti-fire tool (a red object in the shape of the cylinder). Behavior showed 287 was angry. Test subject 284 came down later to talk to me. Told me I couldn't perform tests on his 'bed'. Despite test subject 284's warnings, I will continue to interrupt their sexual patterns.

Expect a report from me soon on the next human response.

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A/N: Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.

We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	4. Chapter 4

DO NOT STEAL THIS IDEA PLEASE!

Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters

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HUMAN RESPONSE REPORT 2  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECTS 284 & 287 - Alfred F. Jones (A.K.A. America/The United States of America) & Arthur Kirkland (A.K.A. England/The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland)

Test subjects have caught on to my rig on their sleeping habitat. Though I have tried not to interrupt their daily behavior, they have now moved sexual intercourse to multiple places in the house; setting fire rigs on all of the places would be a threat. Instead, I have distributed shock pills into test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) during sleeping hours. Shock pills were developed by Agent Steve-when taken in by an organism; they will stay in for a week. With the press of a button I can launch an appropriate amount of watts into test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones).

Test subjects retreated to automobile (human form of transportation) for sexual intercourse. I executed the shock pill on test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) using my remote control. Due to an improper amount of watts, test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) was knocked unconscious. Forgot to account for human's low tolerance of electricity. Test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) called human paramedics who claimed he was shocked. Luckily they did not discover shock pills. 287 (Arthur Kirkland) later came and yelled at me. It was in a human language called 'English', and though I have picked up on it from test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones), he spoke it in a funny, accent-like way. This continued for approximately 10 minutes until test subject left to have self-sexual intercourse, muttering something like "that bloody American didn't even finish me off".

Expect another behavior report soon.

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A/N: Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.

We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Trust me we had a lot of fun with this. Therefore there will be many chapters.

MANY CHAPTERS.

Please review. We kind of need to know if you like what you're reading.

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	5. Chapter 5

Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters

._._._._._.

BEHAVIOR REPORT 12

AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)

TEST SUBJECTS 284 & 287 - Alfred F. Jones (A.K.A. America/The United States of America) & Arthur Kirkland (A.K.A. England/The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland)

Test subjects visit one another on a regular basis. Subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) oftentimes drops by without notice. This makes subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) upset. Anger is followed with kisses. 83% chance of intercourse after an argument. Test subjects argue quite a bit.

Planet 1285 (Earth) has determined that the official name for test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and test subject 287's (Arthur Kirkland's) relationship is "The Special Relationship". This is despite past disputes such as many wars.

The War of Independence that test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) declared on test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) is still a highly emotional subject. Test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) still holds small amounts of regret and remorse. Consumes large amounts of alcohol. Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) ends up taking care of test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) after these events occur. This usually happens around the fourth day of the seventh month. This date also symbolizes test subject 284's (Alfred F. Jones') date of official birth.

Despite his sexual partner's obvious negative feelings towards this day test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) celebrates it. The people of the country of the United States of America launch flaming balls of light and smoke into the air. This makes people happy. It also destroys planet 1285's (Earth's) atmosphere. The United States of America's official flag (Colors: Red, White, and Blue. Thirteen stripes alternating Red and White. Fifty White stars on Blue background in top left corner) is flown throughout the entire country. Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) is overly joyous. Large displays of what he calls "Hero-ness". I have yet to decipher what he means by this.

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A/N: Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.

We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Seriously though, please review. Even if it is just a "Cool story bro".

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	6. Chapter 6

Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters

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COMPOSURE REPORT 1

AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)

TEST SUBJECT 283 – Matthew Williams (A.K.A. Canada)

1st CLASS THREAT

Took tests upon test subject. Found out what test subject is composed of; these are the factors that contribute to his invisibility mutation.

20% Pancakes (human food native to planet 1285 (Earth))  
40% Canadian  
15% Canadian pride  
25% Cheap prescriptions

These must contribute to the ability to be invisible. Test subject also has lack of gun crime; test subject will be contained until further notice due to first class threat.

I have decided to contain test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) in safe container supplied in Space Craft I flew to planet 1285 (Earth) in. Test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) and his ferocious beast "Kumajiro"are safely contained until further notice.

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A/N: Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.

We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Please review. We kind of need to know if you like what you're reading. Even if it is just a 2 word review.

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	7. Chapter 7

Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters

._._._._._.

HUMAN THREAT REPORT #1  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECTS – 287 & Arthur Kirkland (A.K.A. England/The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland), 283 Matthew Williams (A.K.A. Canada), & 290 Ivan Braginski (A.K.A. Russia)

Here is a list of threats I have found on planet earth.

THREAT #1 - TEST SUBJECT 287 (ARTHUR KIRKLAND)'S EYEBROWS Test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) appears to have dangerous eyebrows (spot of hair above the eye on human). Compared to most humans, test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) has eyebrows that are irregularly large. I have deemed these threats. I proceed with caution on performing tests. Earlier, as listed in my report "BEHAVIOUR REPORT #2" test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) yelled at me. During this time eyebrows moved much. I was afraid of an attack during this time. I plan to do tests during test subject 287's (Arthur Kirkland's) sleeping period. As of now I am listing this as a third-class threat in my log book.

THREAT #2 - TEST SUBJECT 283 (MATTHEW WILLIAMS)'S INVISIBILITY MUTATION Test subject 284 (Matthew Williams) has invisibility mutation. Listed components of test subject in earlier report "COMPOSURE REPORT". Test subject can become invisible, a trait found in very few organisms throughout the universe. Listing this as a first-class threat in logbook.

THREAT #3 - TEST SUBJECT 290 (IVAN BRAGINSKI)'S WEAPON. Test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski) has a weapon of choice called a "water pipe, da?" This is made of iron (metal found on earth). I have seen him kill and wound others brutally with this. Interestingly enough, weapon's power is amplified when test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski) drinks a liquid called "Vodka, da?" I have obtained some of this "vodka, da?" and have sent some using a teleported to nearby space ship. Contact Agent Steve to obtain some "vodka, da?" Listing water pipe as a second-class threat, first-class when infused with vodka.

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A/N: Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.

We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Please review. We kind of need to know if you like what you're reading. Even if it is just a 2 word review.

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	8. Chapter 8

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters

God maybe one of these times I should actually type this stuff up instead of copy-and-pasting.

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COMPOSURE REPORT #2  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) - Home planet 24 (Glabcon)  
TEST SUBJECT- HUMAN FOOD: "HAMBURGER"

As requested by base here is a composure report of the human food "hamburger". This is a food most commonly eaten by test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones), and people native to the region "United States of America" on planet 1285 (Earth).

10% bread  
10% tomato  
10% lettuce  
10% ketchup  
10% cheese  
10% hamburger meat  
40% awesome

Will do research on individual materials as soon as time allows.

._._._._._.

A/N: Review please? I love feedback, bad or good. Let's me know people are actually reading. You can even put ideas for things Tony should research in your review.

We don't mind flames. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

We kind of need to know if you like what you're reading. Even if it is just a 2 word review.

Thanks~!

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	9. Chapter 9

Warnings: Implied sex and weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia or any of the Characters. Like I've said eight times before...

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BEHAVIOR REPORT 42  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECTS - Alfred F. Jones (A.K.A. America/The United States of America)& Arthur Kirkland (A.K.A. England/The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland)

Nothing of critical importance has happened.

Test subjects argue and have sex.

They attend World Meetings with various other test subjects. I am not allowed to attend said meetings. All countries become upset when I show up.

Conclusion thus far: These humans are un-evolved and only slightly intelligent. Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) has grown fond of my presence. We play video games with one another. Test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland) dislikes my presence.

I plan to remain on planet 1285 (Earth) with test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) until further notice.

Expect another report from me soon.

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A/N: I LOVE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE STILL READING THIS.

I just wanted to let you guys know that.

Me (Magic) and Bunny are enjoying ourselves greatly as we write this. It's a great way to avoid homework. XD

Anywho- Please leave us more reviews! We always take the time to look at them and try to put readers suggestions into ideas. If you have suggested something it should be coming soon. We had about 11 of these written before we published this so ideas will come around that time.

Once again, we don't mind flames. Constructive critism helps us grow! :D

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	10. Chapter 10

Warnings: Weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. I made it up.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: Neither me nor Bunny own Hetalia or the characters in it. If we did, there would be a few changes.

._._._._._.

BEHAVIOR REPORT 39  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECTS - Alfred F. Jones (A.K.A. America/The United States of America) & Francis Bonnefoy (A.K.A. France)

Subjects have become distraught over test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) disappearance. No one else has noticed he is gone. This is the power of invisibility. I shall test subject to normal human habitat soon. His disappearance has disrupted normal life on planet 1285's (Earth's) surface.

Test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) has begun to eat more after his brother's disappearance. This is due to high levels of stress and depression developing in is body. This is shown in similarity to test subject 269 (Francis Bonnefoy) who has begun more consumption of the alchoholic beverage "wine".

Human classification for this condition is code name: STRESS EATING/DRINKING

More on this subject later if demanded.

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A/N: God these just keep getting weirder and weirder don't they?

We love our reviews, so please review! Anything from "I like it" to "Why the hell are you writing this?" will do! :D

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	11. Chapter 11

Warnings: Weird alien views of Earth

Glabcon: Tony's planet. In case you don't remember.

THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC. IT IS FAR FROM COMPLETION.

Disclaimer: Neither me nor Bunny own Hetalia or the characters portrayed in the anime

._._._._._.

LOGBOOK REPORT  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) - HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)

As requested by my officer, I have sent a copy of my Earth Logbook. Here are all the things worth noting on planet Earth.

19: The average IQ of humans. They seem to be a rather stupid species.

AUTOMOBILE  
Type of transportation used on Earth. Incredibly slow compared to Glabcon's transportation.

AWESOME  
Type of substance found on planet 1285 (Earth). Please refer to "COMPOSURE REPORT #2" for more information.

BED  
Sleeping habitat for humans. Ironically enough sexual intercourse is performed here too.

CAPTAIN AMERICA  
A fictional superhero loved by all humans in the "United States of America" region on planet 1285 (Earth).

EYEBROWS  
A pouch of hair that grows above the eye on humans.

FANBOY/FANGIRL  
A type of human found throughout planet 1285 (Earth). Little information available besides they love anime, manga, pocky, and ramen.

HAMBURGERS  
Food loved by humans in the "United States of America" region on planet 1285 (Earth).

KUMAJIRO  
Deathly bear with unknown powers that belong to test subject 283 (Matthew Williams).

MCDONALDS  
Structure found throughout planed 1286 that sells ready-to-eat food for what seems to be a cheap price. If we could take control of all these structures, we would have a main point to wage war on planet 1286 if we ever wanted.

TEST SUBJECT 284 (ARTHUR KIRKLAND)'S COOKING  
Food cooked by test subject 284 (Arthur Kirkland). Though labeled food, this is definitely inedible for any organism. Avoid at all costs.

VODKA, DA?  
A type of liquid on planet 1285 (Earth). Particularly special to humans in "Russia" region. See "HUMAN THREAT REPORT #1" section "THREAT #3" for more information

WATER PIPE  
A tool used by test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski)'s weapon of choice. Long stick made of iron. Deathly; First-class threat. See "HUMAN THREAT REPORT #1" section "THREAT #3" for more information.

I plan to write more on most of these subjects.

Keep an eye out for my next report.

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A/N: Weird reports galore!

I know none of you guys care- but Magic is totally excited. She's getting an art tablet (finally) for Christmas! Wacom Bamboo Splash Tablet. :D

We love our reviews, so please review! Anything from "I like it" to "Go home MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark. You're drunk." will do! :D

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: OH MY GOD. Ok, so I just went back and corrected all the "orgasm"s to "organism"s. XDD I'm sorry for the spelling error. I though I had proofread this more carefully. OOPS. But hilarious, nontheless.

Glabcon is Tony's freaking homeplanet and as far as I know, it's totally made up.

Disclaimer: Neither me nor Bunny own Hetalia. Or the characters. Ect.

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HUMAN REACTION REPORT #3  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) - HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT 284 (ALFRED F. JONES)

Decided to perform test on test subject 284's daily pattern. Subject 284 is fascinated with his television. Rigged television to only show the color neon green. Subject went on a rampage and called a human organization called "Dish" and later "Netflix". When humans representing the company showed up, they could not figure out what I had done to the TV and said they would send superior officers to come look at it.

Test Subject 284 continued to sit on his couch and eat ice cream (human food) until he decided to ask me to help. I disabled the functions I had placed upon his TV.

Conclusion is test subject 284 cannot live without his TV. With no TV subject will over-eat and become distressed and depressed. Will preform same test on multiple humans throughout diffrent regions in the world to see if other humans react the same way.

Expect another reaction report soon.

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A/N: This is the offical last one that we had uploaded before actually creating this story, so now user requests will start to be filled! :D

I'm seriously loving your reviews/requests. They're hilarious. Or just extremely Prussia (AKA Awesome, as you all SHOULD know).

We love our reviews, so please review! Review with anything! Tell us how your day was. Tell us to go away. I don't care. XD

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: By popular demand~ Prussia!

Glabcon is Tony's freaking homeplanet and as far as I know, it's totally made up.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia! :D

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SUBSTANCE REPORT #1  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET EARTH  
TEST SUBJECT 292 (GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT) / SUBSTANCE "AWESOME"

As I stated earlier, I have done research on substances in the human food 'hamburger'. Most of them originated from plants native to planet Earth, with one peculiar substance - the substance called 'awesome'.

For some odd reason this substance originates from the human test subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt). The subject literally radiates awesome, as proven by tests performed on him. I have collected this substance; normally the substance "awesome" cannot be contained, but when compressed together in such a small area I have collected samples and sent them to a nearby spaceship. Contact Agent Steve for samples of "awesome". I will continue to do more tests on subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt) and substance "awesome." Please note that so much awesome can be harmful to an organism with the acceptation of 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt). Test subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt) seems to be the only organism capable of holding so much awesome.

I will update on substance "awesome" as soon as possible.

I will also update on test subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt).

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A/N: Prussia's first Report!

I'm seriously loving your reviews/requests. They're hilarious. Keep them going! We're writing them I promise, and they will be put up soon!

We love our reviews, so please review! Review with anything! Seriously, you can type anything down in that little box. We don't care, we enjoy reading whatever it is!

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: YAY MORE PRUSSIA! :D

Glabcon is Tony's freaking homeplanet and as far as I know, it's totally made up.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia, you you all should know. :)

._._._._._.

BEHAVIOUR REPORT #4  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT 292 (GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT)

Collected information on test subject "Gilbert Beilschmidt". Test subject has white hair, a peculiarity in humans, and red eyes, also unusual. Subject has a pet bird (animal native to planet 1285 (Earth)), "Gilbird", as subject says. Bird can withstand extreme amounts of substance "awesome".

Subject is the origin of substance "awesome". Radiates this substance at 100% all the time. Will perform a composure test on test subject soon to find what allows this organism to withstand so much awesome.

Subject is seen with two more subjects frequently - test subject 269 (Francis Bonnefoy) and 277 (Antonio Fernandez Carriedo). Together they form a team called the "Bad Touch Trio". This group has specialties: "Ability to seduce women", "Ability to seduce men", "Crush Roderich team", "epic threesome", "sexy models", and more. Will conduct tests on team Bad Touch Trio soon.

Subject lives with his brother; test subject 291 (Ludwig Beilschmidt). Spends majority of the time trashing their house habitat and playing on Xbox Live, a game humans are fond of.

Subject has the ability to consume as much beer (alcoholic liquid on planet 1285 (Earth)) as he deems fit without passing out or dying. He will get drunk, but for some reason this makes him, as I quote, "more awesome".

Performed tests on subject to see what allows him to withstand so much awesome. The following is a list of what subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt) is made of:

10% Beer

20% Prussian

100% Awesome

It seems test subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt) can withstand so much awesome for one reason - he is awesome. He is made of awesome. Therefore this mutation might be hard to manipulate.

Concluding tests on substance "awesome" unless instructed differently by an officer or general.

More tests will be done on test subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt) if requested.

._._._._._.

A/N: There you guys go! A full report on Prussia the awesome~!

Review please? We read thorugh suggestions and then write them out for you- the readers!

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: SHIT I FORGOT TONY STILL HAD CANADA LOCKED UP. Well... Here's Canada guys. XD

Glabcon = Tony's planet.

Disclaimer: I still do not own Hetalia! Nor will I ever~!

._._._._._.

HUMAN RETURN  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) - HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT 283 (Matthew Williams)

I returned test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) and his ferocious beast "Kumajiro" to their natural habitat, a landmass called "Canada" (Place on planet 1285 (Earth)). I wiped their memories of the aliens tests prior to this, seeing as how him remembering this would couse many problems.

Soon after his return he called his brother test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and his sexual partner test subject 269 (Francis Bonneyfoy). Both test subjects were relieved that the one with the invisibility powers was safe.

The results of my tests on test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) are as follows:

-Test subject turns invisible without control  
-Often times subject remains invisible  
-Still a first class threat

I will continue to keep watch over test subject 283 (Matthew Williams) during my stay here on planet 1285 (Earth).

I will also continue taking tests on his powers.

._._._._._.

A/N: Canada is finally back home, safe and sound. Yay~

Let me know if you want to hear about what Tony did to Canada! :P

Keep those lovley reviews up, remember- we take requests!

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Here's a full report on Russia, as well as some side notes on those surrounding him! :D

Tony's Planet = Glabcon

Natalia = Belarus

Katyusha = Ukraine

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia, the characters, or anything else Hetalia related.

._._._._._.

BEHAVIOUR REPORT # 5  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT 290 (IVAN BRAGINSKI)

Testing subject 290 because of water pipe threat. Test subject is extremely violent. Keep distance away from test subject.

Test subject has 2 females that hang around him frequently- Test subject 293 (Katyusha Braginskaya) and test subject 294 (Natalia Arlovskaya). Subjects seem to have a dysfunctional relationship. Subject 294 (Natalia Arlovskaya) frequently insists for 290 (Ivan Braginski) to become her sexual partner, though the advances are rejected. 293 (Katyusha Bragingkaya) cries much more than humans should. Not sure if this is a family relationship in human terms or not.

Test subject has servants, a group called "The Baltic Trio". So far they have shown no threat, but have great fear for 290 (Ivan Braginski). This group includes three subjects - test subject 261 (Toris Laurinaitis), test subject 263 (Raivis Galante), and test subject 264 (Eduard von Bock). This groups abilities include, but is not limited to: "Dancing in tutus", "manservants", "personal punching bags", and "target practice".

Test subject spends much time stalking subject 270 (Yao Wang). Owns a panda suit for solely this purpose. Finds joy in breaking into subject 270's (Yao Wang's) house and eating his food. Subject 270 (Yao Wang) does not particularly like 290's (Ivan Braginksi's) advances, but puts up with them.

Test subject enjoys substance he calls "vodka, da?". Took samples of vodka and sent them to nearby spaceship. Contact Agent Steve to get samples of vodka. Substance amplifies subject's mood. If subject is on a killing spree, "vodka, da?" will amplify his strength. Add his weapon, a water pipe, into the equation and test subject 290 becomes a first-class threat. However, it seems that when 290 (Ivan Braginski) is happy, vodka will make him happier; on one test he went around giving sunflowers (plant from 1285( Earth)) to other humans.

Test subject has a peculiar item he always wears around his neck. Item is white in color and long in length. Seems to be made of material "cotton". I tried to take item for testing. This ended with test subject 290 (Ivan Braginski) erupting in the sound "KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL" and trying to attack me with water pipe. I abandoned the mission immediately to avoid the threat.

Will provide reports on subjects 293 (Katusha Braginskaya), 294 (Natalia Arlovskaya), 261 (Toris Laurinaitis), 263 (Ravis Galante), 264 (Eduard von Bock), and 270 (Yao Wang) as soon as time allows.

._._._._._.

A/N: Kolkolkolkol. Don't try to steal Russia's scarf. Just don't.

Anyways, thanks for reading! We love all of you! XD

Keep the reviews up! I'm simply adoring your ideas!

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: France needed a chapter to himself. Becuase he is France. XD

Glabcon = Tony's Planet.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia! :D

._._._._._.

BEHAVIOUR REPORT #6  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT 269 (FRANCIS BONNEFOY)

Tests taken on subject 269. Subject is very unusual. Sexual intercourse is performed frequently with men, women, multiple people, inanimate objects, and so forth. Concerned for subject's safety and well-being.

Subject is a renowned cook. Cooking skills considered godly to some. Tests taken on food - this proves to be true. Most of his dishes are French (culture of region "France" on Earth).

Subject is one of the three to make up the group "Bad Touch trio". This means the following attributes are available to him: "Ability to seduce women", "Ability to seduce men", "Crush Roderich team", "epic threesome", "sexy models", and more.

Subject is, according to the majority of humans, "sexy". I have decided that this word comes from the root word of sex, so this must mean the subject is very sexual. The only human that seems to disregard subject 269's sexy attribute is test subject 284 (Arthur Kirkland).

Test subject has a special liking to the liquid "wine". Drinks this uncontrollably; even during wartimes. Test subject will not die from wine, or pass out- he is like test subject 292 (Gilbert Beilschmidt) with beer.

Test subject is in sexual relationship with 1st class treat and test subject 283 (Matthew Williams)

Test subject also has a special liking to the flower rose, a flower found only on planet earth. For some reason, a rose will amplify test subject's sexual sexy-ness. Reason for this is unknown.

Test subject is known to release the sound "HONHONHONHONHON" at certain times. This generally happens right before sexual intercourse, when sexually advancing on another human, or when talking about something "stylish" or "fancy".

Will perform tests on why plant flower "rose" amplifies attribute "sexy'.

._._._._._.

A/N: France: OHHONHON~ Look at all of ze sexy readers!

Magic (Me): *shoos France away* Well there you guys go! Stay tuned for more hilarity.

Remember to review if you have any suggestions you want to see. Also, we love feedback. If your confused about anything, or see some sort of error let us know! :D

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I love these two. I just love them. XD

They needed a report.

Glabcon = Tony's Planet

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. Thank you.

._._._._._.

SUBSTANCE REPORT 2  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT - TOMATOS

Human food from planet 1285 (Earth) called tomato. It is red in color and spherical. It is often times found on Hamburgers (See SUBSTANCE REPORT 2) in small slices. There is much argument over if it is classified as a "fruit" or a "vegetable". I have yet to officially classify this food.

Test subjects 293 (Lovino Vargas) and 298 (Antonio Fernandez Carriedo) appear to have formed a obsession with this food. They are rarely seen eating without a small amount of tomato.

I have yet to understand why test subjects enjoy the food tomato so much. I plan on performing tests on test subjects as well as the food tomato.

Expect a report on the subject soon, as well as test subject 293 (Lovino Vargas) and 298 (Antonio Fernandez Carriedo)

._._._._._.

A/N: Updates will be a little slower from now on, me and Bunny have become very busy with homwork and school and crap.

Plus Magic is doing the USUK Secret Santa thing, and is a crazy person so she's making hers really long.

But we promise to continue to update this!

Remeber to review! We take requests and then type them up into hilarious reports of awesome~!

Don't be afraid to critique us either, we like knowing when we've made a mistake so we can fix it.

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Bunny. What are you doing? Bunny. _STAHP._

So Bunny sent this to me and it was simply too good to pass up. I was laughing my ass off the 1st time I read it, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. ~Magic

Warnings: Implied sex, minor swearing

Disclaimer: We don't own Hetalia or the characters~

._._._._._.

BEHAVIOR REPORT #7  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET 1285 (EARTH) – HOME PLANET 24 (GLABCON)  
TEST SUBJECT 284 (ALFRED F. JONES) AND 287 (ARTHUR KIRKLAND)

In order to better understand humans I have interrupted the text messages between subjects 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and 287 (Arthur Kirkland). Here is a list of the conversation below:

287: Hello, love. I will be over at your house in time for dinner, alright?

284: Don't lie Artie. You just want some yummy smex.

287: Alfred would you please stop being obscene through texting!?

284: You know you wanna sext me ;)

287: No way in bloody hell, Alfred.

284: Admit it. You like my cock.

287: Alfred F. Jones!

284: Mm, you love it when I shove it in and out of you and you shout for me to go louder :)

287: I'm going to beat you to bloody death if you don't stop!

284: You want me to go faster too cause you're all like "Oh Alfred shove your oversized cock into me harder!" and I'm like "Awright :D"

287: You are ridiculous. Stop this now.

284: And then you're all like "Oh alfred tie me to the bed and treat me like a slutty bitch," and i'm still like, "awright, cool," and so i do.

287: I refuse to take part in this.

284: Mm, you like my sexy cock don't you, Artie?

284: Artie?!

284: Arthuuuuurrrrrrrrrr!

This is where the conversation ends. As you can see, 284 (Alfred F. Jones) still has an over desire for sexual intercourse between himself and 287 (Arthur Kirkland).

._._._._._.

A/N: Alfred is very direct. And he has horrible grammar. XD

I'll get back to posting requests now, sorry for this little interuptance... :P

Remember to review! We love to read each and every one!

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	20. Chapter 20

We don't own characters.

._._._._._.

BEHAVIOUR REPORT #8  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET EARTH  
TEST SUBJECTS 284 (ALFRED F. JONES) AND 287 (ARTHUR KIRKLAND)

Decided to conduct another test on subjects 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and 287 (Arthur Kirkland) to interrupt their sexual intercourse. Lowered the watts on shock pills; this time distributed to 287 (Arthur Kirkland). Shock will only be enough to momentarily hurt 287; enough that sexual intercourse should not be wanted for a certain time period.

Waited until 3 minutes after subjects had retreated to their sleeping habitat before activating the shock pill. Set up video recorder to record behavior. Instead of slowing intercourse, 284 (Alfred F. Jones) came out of the room, found me with the controller, and took it despite my requests. Subject retreated to room again. 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and 287 (Arthur Kirkland) ended up using the shock pills as a 'toy' during intercourse. Confusion is in my mind right now so as to why they do this.

Subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) asked me to get one of those 'toys' for him later, after sexual intercourse. I do not understand why but have rejected his request as it is an alien technology.

Later tests will be conducted to see why 284 (Alfred F. Jones) used the shock pill on 287 (Arthur Kirkland) during sexual intercourse. Humans are very confusing indeed.

._._._._._.

Hallo peeps. Review please, tell us how we did.


	21. Chapter 21

Characters don't belong to us.

* * *

BEHAVIOUR REPORT # 8

AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET EARTH

TEST SUBJECTS 291 (LUDWIG BEILSCMIDT) AND 295 (FELICIANO VARGAS)

I have, on request of one of my officers, infiltrated communications between another set of humans. I have yet to do behavior reports on test subjects 291 and 295, but I will do so as soon as time allows.

291: Feliciano, you are late for training again.

295: But I was eating pasta! =.=

295: Hey, Doistu, it looks like me! See? =.=

291: Yes, Feliciano, I can see.

295: Now you can see me on your phone, Ludwig! =.=

291: I don't want to see you.

295: LUDWIG I'M SO SORRY WHAT DID I DO PLEASE COME BACK I NEED YOU LUDWIG!

291: Calm yourself! You didn't do anything.

295: Okay, hehe. Hey, you should come eat the pasta with me!  
291: You need to come to training.

295: But Ludwig! I'm eating pasta! And the waitress is so nice, I don't want to go yet!

291: Feliciano if you don't get down here now I will come get you myself.

295: Ve~ you can eat pasta with me then!

291: Feliciano, I am being serious.

295: Can I call you Lu?

291: My name is Ludwig.

295: Lu, come eat pasta with me! Please?! =.= Look, there I am again!

291: ...You are excused from training today, Feliciano.

This is the last time 291 sends a message. After this subject 295 sends an insane amount of messages because 291 refused to reply and 295 didn't want to be alone. Test subject 291 is one of the first sensible humans I have met. 295, on the other hand, could be defined as an idiot.

* * *

A/N: Hallo, my lovely readers. I (Bunny) love you all for reading. As far as your requests go, Magic and I are working on them. And... my apologies. I totally put orgasm instead of organism in some of these. AND, if you guys remember the... Behaviour report #2? I wrote some smut for that. (Instead of Tony's POV its Alfred's.) So if you guys want some good old smut with Tony's shocking pills in it, we posted it as a seperate FF on this account called "Tony's shocking instruments".

This would be my first time posting a chapter. Sure, me and Magic each write some but I just email her my stuff and say "HERE, find my typos and shit and fix them for me :D" Such a nice friend :D

So, as far as requests go, I think Magic goes in order, and I hop around a lot. But all requests will be answered, I swear on my... Francis can come rape me if I'm lying. (Which I wouldn't mind, but you know :D We will get them all.) That would be pretty sexy.

You know those security things they make you type in when you log in? Instead of tios and fjie and shiz they should have stuff like usuk or brit or other 4 letter words significant to Hetalia.

Please review and request and stuff.

In the mean time, take a lovely joke and a song I wrote about America.

Hehe, whats Japan's favorite car?

...Honda.

^J^

And the song:

You know China and Russia  
and France and Prussia,  
Switzerland and England,  
Germany and Finland

But do you recall... the most famous nation of all?

America, the loud-mouthed nation  
had a very loud voice.  
and if you ever head it,  
you would even say STFU.

all of the other nations,  
used to laugh and call him names.  
they never let poor America  
join in any world confrences!

then one foggy WW2 evening,  
england came to say,  
"America, with your voice so loud,  
won't you come fight with us?"

then how the nations loved him  
as they shouted out with glee,  
"america, with your voice so loud,  
you'll go down in history!"

Bootiful, aint it? I wrote that for Magic while she was doing homework and stuff :D

Now I'm having sexy thoughts about Francis. Ima go before this turns into a rant.

Review, peeps. if you like smut check out the other FF and tell me how i did. Thanks for reading! Hasta la pasta~!


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: We don't own anything! :D

._._._._._.

BEHAVIOR REPORT # 10  
AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET EARTH  
TEST SUBJECT 281 (Kiku Honda)

Test subject 281 (Kiku Honda) is a very intriguing specimen. He is very quiet compared to most other test subjects and often times refrains from speaking. He is close friends with both test subjects 284 (Alfred. F. Jones) and test subject 287 (Arthur Kirkland). He is classified by himself, as well as many others as an "Otaku". This is similar to the species of "fangirls" I have reported about in previous reports. He is a "fanboy". This is the male counterpart to the species of "fangirl".

Test subject 281 (Kiku Honda) seems to enjoy watching test subjects 284 (Alfred F. Jones) and 287 (Arthur Kirkland) being romantic with each other and/or becoming more intimate with each other. This is apparently an attribute to a "fanboy". Reasons for this are unknown. He calls this "shipping". He enjoys sexual intercourse involving tentacles with many men and woman. He is almost worse than test subject 269 (Francis Bonnefoy) in this matter.

Test subject dislikes being nude and interacting with most people. He prefers to sit behind some sort of electronical device and play "video games". Even when it comes to sexual intercourse he prefers to watch others perform sexual intercourse on his electronics rather than him do it himself. Generally speaking these videos he watches include tentacles, male pregnancy, and 'semes' and 'ukes'. He has zero ability to get along with others, although he loves to play interactive video games.

Test subject has, despite not liking interactions, interesting relationships with 259 (Sadiq Adnan) and 258 (Heracles Karpusi). Both fight over being his closest friend and are easily distracted by test subject 281's thumb removal illusion. Test subject 281 can remove his thumb at will to distract the two others. On top of that test subject 281 (Kiku Honda) and test subject 258 (Heracles Karpusi) seem to be in a sexual relationship, but test subject 281 likes to be very discreet about it.

Strange tendencies include a liking to the species "Cat". (Animal native to Planet Earth). He is also very good at sensing the mood. This is opposite to how test subject 284 (Alfred F. Jones) senses the mood. He is very opposed to driving with test subjects 295 (Feliciano Vargas) and 297 (Lovino Vargas). Reasons for this include massive speeds and insane driving patterns.

Test subject also used to be species of "Ninja". No information on this species besides the facts that they are very sneaky and quiet; much like test subject 281 (Kiku Honda).

._._._._._.

A/N: Sorry for such a long wait for an update guys!

Magic: Hi guys! Here's a report about Japan and his weird little tendancies… Me and Bunny finally got around to writing!

DEMONBUNNY: I changed my name because bunny sounds too cute and fluffeh. I drew on a box B| If you want to see a picture of it, tell me and I'll upload it somewhere. IT'S A BOX.

Moar updates later guys. We're working on requests now.

ghperghoiergpheripoghripghrp ghrgKALINKAMALINKAdfheiguepg erhgepr.

That's what Vocaloid sounds like to me.

Magic: TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR DREAM!

DEMONBUNNYOFFIRENESS :D: Oh guys I had a dream. I was outside of this one house and I was sitting on a barrel watching Francis pick flowers and then I offered to help him so I went off to pick flowers and Arthur came and arrested me for aiding a French person. And then my bro yelled at him and then we all ran away and the house blew up. True Dream story, bros.

Magic: Stop changing your name godammit. I'm just gonna start calling you bunnyofcute or some shit.

*Eye twitch* my name is now Bunny of firey mintiness with claws and fangs of lightning that is cooler than YOU AND YOUR MAGICAL DARKNESS POWERS. By guys, I'm ending this stuff.

Magic: .-. Fine then. (THAT FACE IS BUNNY'S WEAKNESS)

Anyways, before she kills me and the face…. Review my lovelies! We love requests and any sort of feedback!

~MagicalMintBunnyInTheDark~


	23. Chapter 23

BEHAVIOUR REPORT # 12

AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET EARTH

TEST SUBJECT # 253 (EMIL STEILSSON)

Test subject is a younger human with white hair; white hair is a peculiarity among young humans.

Test subject is normally seen with a bird flying around him; this bird is called a 'puffin', which is a race of birds originating from Earth. Test subject refers to the bird as 'puffin' or 'my puffin', whether this is the bird's name or test subject has no desire to name the bird, I do not know. In either case, this bird speaks, which I have found impossible for other puffins to do so. Undetermined whether or not the bird is a threat.

Test subject is part of the group "The Nordics". His relationship with test subject 255 (Lukas Bondevik) is extremely unusual; the two constantly bicker about whether or not they are brothers. Test subject 253 proclaims that he is not the little brother, despite the facts that DNA tests have shown that there is a 99% chance that he is, indeed, test subject 255's little brother. On top of this, test subject 254 (Tino Väinämöinen) tries to persuade subject 253 to call him little brother as well. He is the youngest human in the Nordics group, although according to observation, is not the most immature. That would be subject 257 (Mathias Kohler).

Besides that, test subject seems to be smarter than other humans, despite his usual quietness; though this quietness may be due to the fact that he spends much time around test subject 257 (Mathias Kohler). Test subject is very fond of waterfalls and volcanoes, and spends much time outdoors.

* * *

Hola guys! This is Macho Bunny. I just wanted to say a few quick things o-e:

While we don't really expect you all to review (though reviews are very nice and we encourage them much~), if you request something, and then we answer the request, we would like to know if we did what you wanted. So, if we answer your requests, in return, is it too much to ask that you review and tell us if you liked it?

Christmas has made Magic and I extremely busy. After this, my schedule should clear up, and Magic's should... semi clean up. We already have some of your requests done!

Lukas Bondevik - Norway  
Tino Vainamoinen - Finland  
Mathias Kohler - Denmark  
Emil Steilsson - Iceland

Please keep in mind that - with the exception of Finland and Sweden, the Nordics have no official human name. So these were the most popular I could find, and I chose them. Magic says hi. Review, amigos. They make our day.


	24. Chapter 24

BEHAVIOUR REPORT # 13

AGENT TONY - STATIONED PLANET EARTH

TEST SUBJECT 254 (TINO VÄINÄMÖINEN)

Test subject is a shorter male human that is very happy, despite some odd and demoralizing circumstances.

Test subject, as stated earlier, is a very nice and kind man, though he has his strong suit too. Test subject originates from region of earth called "Finland"; this is a land known not only for tourist sites but for infamous sharpshooters. His niceness, however, is shown as he takes the guise of "Santa Clause" on Christmas (holiday of Earth) and delivers presents to every single human on Earth, which is approximately seven billion. He loves animals as well and treats most very nicely.

Test subject is part of the group "The Nordics". He seems to be the most level-headed in the group, and is probably what keeps the group stable throughout all the chaos the group can generate.

Test subject is in a sexual relationship with test subject 256 (Berwald Oxenstierna). Both the males feel strongly for each other and do not allow the other Nordics to distract from this. Test subject 256 likes to call subject 254 his 'wife', which makes no sense considering they are both males, and on the planet Earth, 'wife' is a term use to describe a female sexual partner. They have a strange, but close relationship indeed.

Test subject has a dog called Hanatamago that he is extremely fond of. The dog is very loyal to him, and the two seem to have a good relationship. Perhaps this comes from test subject 254's love of animals.

* * *

MachoBunny: Guys, Magic has this 400 page book she has to read by the end of break. Every single time there's two guys alone, she describes the situation to me and I change the guys into Alfred and Arthur and write a bunch of yaoi stuff to get her through it. The point it, though, she's busy, and she's making me post this stuff. Which sucks. But I hope you all enjoy it, all the same~

Magic: Look, I'm sorry but this stupid book is worth about half my grade. Thank you for the yaoi. ;A; You have no idea how much it helps. Oh, and for any of you following my MagicInTheDark account- I promise I'll update eventually. I'm pretty much drowning in homework right now. So sorry!

MachoBunny: I'll be posting another Nordics thing tommorow, and the day after that, and the day after that. Then we'll be done with that request and on to the next! I've got tons of free time, so right now I'll be writing most of them. Until next time, bros and sisters~! (Reviews are nice. Request if you want!)


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